It Didn't Goes Well

Its only the 6th day in the new year, 2009...but for me, it such a long week. It didn't goes well as what i've planned....There's too much loneliness and emptiness in me.

Outside, people will see me smile at all times but no one knows that deep inside, i was crying. Till today, i really don't know what i want in my life. Yes, i have a luvvy duvvy family, friends and people surround me. But still, i feel lonely and i know, there are people who just won't let me live happy. Why?? I just can't figure it out and the most shocking is, she is the person that i'm closed to and Yes, we were good friends....


Before, my life wasn't like this....it's were all well planned and organized. With the help of the person that i love. Since he's gone, it such a mess. I feel like a handicap person. Half of my body, mind and soul didn't work well. I know, it was my fault to let him go and it wasn't the first time that i let him go. It's my fault!! It's my fault!! It's my fault!! I always change my mind at that is the biggest problem. Now, i realize, for him to come back to me is impossible..I've hurt him so much and i can only wish him the best of luck........


Now, i need to live my life....like a loneranger, strive for the best. No more, hanging out, no more chilling at the party. I'm back to my family....that's the only strength in me. Forget those guys,.....they were good friends and good companion but they aren't a listener for me to share. From now on, it's just ME, MYSELF & MY FAMILY.......